Wednesday, February 20, 2013

forever young

Today is my birthday!!! Happy birthday to me! Today is my birthday!!! Happy birth-day to meh!!!
I woke up singing this song in my head and I felt good!!! Unlike last year where I got a surprising jolt when I realized I turned another year older, this year I kind of anticipated it and welcomed it with open arms – age is but a number they say and as much as we try to run away from it, unless we discover the fountain of youth anytime soon it will always, always catch up with us.
Getting old sure is damn scary and I don’t just mean getting a few more wrinkles and gray hairs. I want to be forever young.
Getting old is scary for me because as the years go by, the less I can get away putting my hair in ribbons and braids; licking an ice cream cone with great gusto and eating a cake not in a dainty ladylike way but in a ‘smash your cake’ kind of way and with finding joy in blowing bubbles and dandelions with out looking silly. Getting old means less play and more work; less cartoons and more news and current events which more often than not brings depressing news of poverty, crime and political drama.
Getting old means I can not get away with spending my time lazing around daydreaming and playing without a care in the world, no – getting older means working hard to achieve your goals, handling responsibilities, preparing and anticipating what the future might bring. 
Today I realized that people are scared of getting old not because of the wrinkles, sagging skin and going bald. People are scared to grow old because they think their lives are not what it's supposed to be. They think they ought to be richer, more popular and more accomplished – I am not saying it’s a bad thing, dreaming big and accomplishing goals is what makes us strive and work hard in life, I am just saying that sometimes we see age as some sort of a marker.

Birthdays are like a life marker that makes you take a look at the years that have passed as opposed to the things you have done and accomplished. I guess that is why we ‘dread’ birthdays because we are scared to discover that we have wasted another year and haven’t done as much as our potentials would allow.
So you see its not really the age that scares me, and I bet someone out there will agree with me on this, more that growing a year older, it’s the process of looking back at the years that passed and discovering I have not done, accomplished, changed for the better and gotten wiser as much as I should have is what scares the shit out of me.
Today is my birthday!!! happy bithday to me!!! today is my birth-day!!! happy birthday to meh!!!

I might be scared but scared in a good way! as I look back over the years of my life - I know its not perfect but I am thankful nonetheless because everything that has happened led me to this day and tommorow as I start a new day of being a year older I tell my self  'work hard, improve yourself but don't forget to smell the roses along the way, its a difficult journey so be sure to find the beauty in the simplest things'
I might age and wrinkle but I will never stop finding joy in bubbles, balloons, cakes and ice cream!!!

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